I’ve been receiving a lot of positive feedback from men and women around the world for the content on Be You. I just want to take a quick moment to thank each and every one of you for blessing me with such fortune. It feels amazing to be able to make a positive impact on those around me, and I thank God every day for the success I’ve had in doing so so far! Throughout this process, I’ve been receiving a lot of questions and feedback about motivation: how to stay motivated? What motivates me? How to become motivated? So, I want to address motivation, it’s importance and some keys to staying consistent with your goals:
Ever since I can remember I’ve had a vision in my head of how I wanted my life to be. One day my dad told me, “We’re not going to pay for you forever,” and at that moment my brain kicked into high gear. I knew I wanted to live a comfortable life, and my parents had always driven home how they worked so hard because they’d wanted their children to be afforded comforts and have access to building blocks they did not have access to. This really resonated with me. Even from a young age, I wanted to work hard and provide my children with better than what I had.
In some ways, I think some people just have it and some people don’t, but another part of me thinks you can scare motivation out of just about anybody. That’s what some people need to jumpstart them, whether it’s getting a job, paying bills, or smaller things like just getting to the gym, some people just need that fear. As a child, I became consumed with the idea that I was put on this planet to help and make a difference. I still believe this with my whole heart, but I was also scared. I was scared to death I wouldn’t be able to supply my children with the luxuries I was afforded. I worked. I cried. I sweat. I cried some more. And I kept on working, and still am because true ambition never sleeps.
I would say the key to motivation is ambition. Ambition doesn’t just fall out of the sky though. For some people it’s taught, for others it’s innate, and for most people it’s gradual. Ambition, I think, is when your desire to achieve your goal outweighs the weight of the obstacles you face. Ambition wins every time. Hard-work wins every time. But you can’t go blindly into the abyss just thinking you’re going to succeed. You won’t. You have to have a plan. You have to treat your dream like a newborn child. When you find out you have one you need to prepare. Set your life up in anticipation of a new addition. And when you get close, visualize how you plan to solidify the accomplishment of your dream, and what your life looks like once you’ve succeeded. Put as much love into the preparation as you do the accomplishment because there is no accomplishment without preparation. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: NOTHING WORTH HAVING EVER COMES EASILY!!! Do not ever forget this! Even once you’ve accomplished your goal and you begin to foster and disperse the benefits of your success, keep working just as hard. It can be taken away just as quickly as it was given.
Most importantly, find what you’re passionate about. So many people live life just going through the motions. That’s why I think 90%, if not more, find themselves dissatisfied with life or lacking ambition and drive. They don’t know what they want, and if they do know, for some crazy reason or another, they’ve talked themselves into believing it’s not possible. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. And believe me when you want something with your whole heart, when you REALLY want something, you’re willing to lose sleep, lack food, isolate yourself from friends and family, miss every party of the summer to accomplish it. When you’d rather spend time doing your craft than just about anything else in the whole world then you know you’ve found it!
This also goes for smaller goals. If something isn’t important to you then it won’t get done, and if it does get done you probably half-assed it *excuse my language* and it’s just a matter of time before it comes tumbling down again. If you want to lose weight because that’s what the “world” or your “friends” or your “boyfriend” tells you to do then you will NEVER be successful at losing weight. You have to do it because you want to because at that moment when you’re at the gym, or even thinking of going, there is nothing more important to you than living a healthy life. Maybe think of your kids? We know now that environment and diet can actually change your DNA. Maybe you think of your family? Don’t you want to be around at family functions or save your family the heartache of burying you early? Maybe you think of living a happy and full life, not held down by the extra stress of health complications? FIND SOMETHING THAT MATTERS TO YOU AND USE IT! But never, and I mean NEVER, do anything for the benefit of someone else. Do it for you. You can do something because you’re selfless and thinking about the emotions of others gives you drive, but don’t do it for them! The desire must stem from within! And if it’s something society is telling you-you “should” do, like lose weight, but it’s not important to you or doesn’t bring you joy, then LET IT BE – it’s okay. Focusing on other people’s ambitions will not bring yours to fruition.
My last token is to GET RID OF THE ENABLERS. There will be people in your life, always, that work against you becoming the best version of yourself. They work against you increasing self-confidence, increasing healthy behaviors, and/or positive attitude changes. These people are enablers and haters. We all have that one friend that secretly wishes for our demise. That one friend that when you express your desire to be healthier and live a longer life says, “Nah, you’re fine! You don’t need to do that,” instead of motivating you to reach your goals. Who in their right mind would NOT want their friend to live a healthier and longer life!?! Or you may have that friend you told you were trying to cut back on sweets, but when they came over they still brought cookies and wine. Surround yourself with people that understand your goal and your vision. Change is hard, and as I said before: “Nothing worth having comes easily,” so be prepared for a fight with yourself, but don’t make things worse by having to fight your haters and enablers as well! Find your passion and/or your goal. Find a legitimate reason you desire to do this, or have this, that serves as a consistent motivator. Don’t ever let someone tell you-you can’t do something. Don’t ever tell YOURSELF you can’t do something. Where there is a will there is ALWAYS a way! And most importantly, always remember with whatever you do to just BE YOU.!