Be You. eBay Shop CURRENTLY CLOSED DUE TO COVID-19

The Be You. eBay Shop was started in an effort to attain two goals: Take steps towards a more minimalist lifestyle, that brings maximum joy, while also supplementing my graduate school income. However, the goal is not to exploit your pockets 🙂 it’s to bring gently used fashionable items to those who will love them, at a reasonable price! Every item on the Be You. eBay page is gently worn and thoroughly cleaned. Customer service has been well vetted, by happy reviewers from around the world!

Be You. thanks every piece for the joy it once brought, and sincerely hopes it brings maximum joy to every buyer – Take a Look and See What You Find!

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Nothing Worth Having Comes Easily

June 19th, 2017

Moving has to be one of the most stressful things to do in an adult’s life. You have to pack up everything you own, organize how to get it from one place to the next, find a new place to live, organize leaving your previous location and transferring all of your services; I could keep going on for a very VERY long time – but I won’t! What I mean to say is that it’s exhausting, and if you’re familiar with Be You. then you’re familiar with my journey to minimalism, so this has brought a whole new shade of shitty to the situation.

Even once you’ve given away most of your material items, or you think you have, you can’t really be sure until you have to move them. Once I started packing it hit me like a dump truck that I either had an obscene amount of stuff or, well, I guess I just had an obscene amount of stuff *sigh*. As a very organized and meticulous person I like to start the move-out process a full month, to month and a half, before I actually have to be anywhere. So this whole month I’ve just been basically throwing things away. It turns out that although I had given away a lot of my clothing I still have a ridiculous number of shoes and other miscellaneous items. It also turns out that I have literally kept every piece of paper I’ve ever been given or printed since 1912, so who really has room for all of that or a place to keep it properly organized?

I feel like most of this moving process isn’t just taking things from one location to another, but deciding what really matters to me. Again, I am faced with not what on the outside matters to me, but this time, what on the inside matters to me. It has turned out to be a completely different experience than when I was deciding which shirts said “Alexis” versus the ones that didn’t. I have to decide which parts of my life are important to me. Which things hold the most emotional and practical value? The question isn’t who do I want people to see me as on the outside, but who do I want to be on the inside? And some days I just don’t know, and I sit on the floor looking at everything out of its place and wish I could just go back and never begin the process. But if there’s one thing I have learned in what seems like the longest 23 years ever – with a sample size of 1 opinion – is that there is nothing in this life that’s worth having or achieving that isn’t, at least at the beginning, and most of the time even at the end, a monumental pain in the butt…And remembering this I continue on my journey. Until next time, my friends – Be You.

Unmasked

April 10th, 2017

This week has been a weird week for me. It seems like the past few weeks I’ve started to realize I’ve been wearing masks. Not literal masks, but through my clothing. I’ve been wearing what everyone else wanted to see me in. I was wearing things I was expected to wear, styles I was expected to like, but now since I’ve started selling all of my clothes I’m stuck. I’m left with things I truly love, but those things aren’t enough to make a full wardrobe. Many of them are basics: basic long-sleeves, basic crop tops, basic one pieces, basic flannels. Just basics. Everyone needs basics and everyone loves their basics, but no one, or very few, have a whole wardrobe of just basics, right?

So now I’m left with essentially rebuilding from the bottom. I’m faced with the task of deciding what I want people so see me as, and building a wardrobe that reflects that. I tried, previously, to use the Nordstrom money for work clothes, for my new graduate school position, but I’m still lost. I look at everything I used to throw into my shopping carts and no longer find myself in any of them. I’ve realized I don’t like frilly shirts. I don’t like things with crazy patterns. I don’t like floral designs. I’m not a huge fan of the off-the-shoulder. I don’t like short shorts. I don’t like boob revealing shirts. I don’t want those 3-quarter length pants everyone is wearing now. I don’t like peplums. I don’t want anything with a huge graphic on it. I don’t like most things, now that I’m making this list, and this isn’t even the whole list!

But I do like basics. I guess it’s weird. I went through a preppy stage. I had a punk stage. I was a hipster for a while. But now I’m starting from the beginning and all I want are basics. I just want white shirts in innovative shapes. I just want long blazers in neutral colors. I don’t want shorts that cling, but shorts that flow. I don’t want pants with designs, but neutral colors in a pioneering style.

I started this piece to talk about how I feel like I don’t know myself anymore, but I guess I do know myself. I do know what I want and what I want to see myself in. I am an understated person. I’m chill, but I have a bit of flare. I’m calm, but can be very sharp. As I write this I realize that’s the exact style I’ve described. I’m not lost. I just need to become comfortable again with doing what I want, and wearing what I want. I need to feel comfortable not doing what people expect, but doing what I love. I guess that’s all I’ve got to do – Until Next Time My Friends – Be You.

Underbudget

March 17th, 2017

Through one of my returns I managed to acquire about $400 in store credit. Usually I could blow through $400 like someone had just given me a quarter for a candy machine, but I used this moment to challenge myself. Usually I pick out everything I’ve ever wanted on the site and then dwindle it down to the few things I feel I really really enjoy. However, the things I end up wearing and the things I find pleasing to my eye are two completely different things a lot of the time. I now have a total of about 10 shirts, in my closet and about 200 ready to be sold. I know, I have a problem; I have completely and totally accepted it!

So through this exercise I began to try and separate the things I will really wear from the things I just think are fun. My goal was to become better acquainted with the things I love, versus the things I simply like. I was left with less than $200 in my basket and a face full of shock and confusion. This had never happened to me before – under budget. If there’s anyone you know in life that would not be under budget that person would be ME! This minimalist movement has really begun to change me, and this is the first time I’m really seeing it. I went from wanting and desiring everything to realizing it takes only a few things to really truly feel happy and satisfied. Surrounding myself with a bunch of things I like, be it people, clothing, objects, etc. just serves to fill a void. But to be surrounded by things I love gives me a chance to heal; feel real love and be loved by others!

It’s crazy how the most simple tasks, when seen under the light of minimalism, can teach you some of the most profound lessons.

Becoming Me

March 6th, 2017

The last time we talked I was confessing how greedy I felt, and how uncomfortable it was to be faced, so blatantly, with your imperfections. As my closet became more empty and my drawers more bare I started to feel it too, inside. I love fashion and my clothes are a huge part of what I felt made me who I was. I love putting together outfits; trying weird and outlandish styles; and doing crazy things with my shoes, accessories, and hair. I live for it! So to see my drawers and closets so bare made me feel like I’d lost a part of myself.

The more I sat with the idea, however, the more I realized that if anything I’d become even more me. I was even more Alexis than the day before. If anything, I was the most Alexis I had ever been. I was left with the bare bones of what it is to be me. With what I do have now I am undoubtedly and unapologetically exact who I want to be and nobody else. There is no second guessing me. There is no wondering what I’m like. I am just simply who I am. When I began to let go of my things as defining points I began to hold more tightly to myself.

I had valued myself as someone who could be whoever I wanted to be. One day I could be goth, preppy, hipster, hippie, etc., but the more I sat with this idea the more I realized this was just a physical way for me to say, “I have no idea who I am.” In a sense I had defined myself by having no real definition. I had given myself an explanation for what I thought was strength. “Be whoever you want – You can do anything.” Right? But now I know the hardest part is deciding to be something.

You can do anything and you can be whoever you want to be, but one of the hardest parts about life deciding to be it. It’s easy to be a free spirit, because you never really have to commit to anything. You never really have to make any real decisions that could influence your life one way or another. All you have to do is decide, that day, who you want to be. There’s no fear in it. There’s no expectation. But to take the time to decide who you are, who you want to be, and what morals and values you want to be defined by, that’s huge. That’s a responsibility. It requires accountability and commitment. It’s serious. But in the same way it’s beautiful. It’s confidence, the true and unabridged version of it.

I have entered this realm where I am exactly who I am, defined by my love for the environment, my activism for equal rights, my desire for a healthier life for the next generation, my sexual abstinence, and determination to succeed. I am a Christian and unashamed. I am artistic, creative, and I love my family more than anything in this world. I want love and a family and I’m not embarrassed to try things and get hurt by them. I don’t believe in many social norms, because I feel they perpetuate the unhealthy cycle of insecurity and perfectionism. I love and believe in the healing power of meditation, yoga, and evidence-based psychotherapy. I’m imperfectly perfect. I am Alexis and I have made a decision to be her. It is the most important decision of my life, and I wouldn’t trade with a single person. Not even for a day.

Minimalism is beautiful like that. By simply stripping away the unnecessary you are left with only what matters. You never realize how the physical impacts the mental and emotional. Stay Tuned My Friends – Because I’m Just Getting Started!